Hell is a Modern Place and Even Demons Have Needs
by anonym freak
Summary: Starring Naoya  devil survivor  as a demon named Cain and his life as a demon in Hell. There's Boss Lucifer kneeding the spot between his nose in frustation because his minions antics and other lots. Shortly, a wacky style life in Hell. NaoyaxMC


It has always been a good thing to prepare for the worst. There are no such words like 'too early' for preparations. However, people just seems to like having 'too late' as their excuse for their own tardiness. It is rather strange, or maybe that's just the nature of humans… Don't know much about that though.

There are no such words as 'too early' or 'regret' in the dictionary of Cain. He prepares for the worst, and plans for the counter attack. He knows his limits, and chooses to cover his limits with shields he created by any means. He hates weakness, and so disposed of that so called weakness of him long ago. And that was how he managed to come to this point, a high-ranked demon general infamous for his tactful strategies in the war Hell had waged against Heaven long time ago.

"Cain…" A sultry voice called him when he had just round the corner to return to the his quarter. He sighed and whipped his head back to face the face of his so-called best friend, Loki.

"Loki." He addressed dryly, which seemed to amused the trickster demon all the more. As the trickster snickered like a maniac, to which Cain never respond kindly to, as he quickly jabbed his claws at the other's gut. Luckily for the snickering demon, another hand caught the claws of the seething inside demon, thus preventing a bloody-mass-murder that was just about to happen.

Lucifer knows what happens when his two generals fights, and had sent Demi-fiend to separate the two. Lucifer sighed as he saw the things that occurs in daily basis at his castle via the bug camera he had planted in several areas in Hell. He had long ago gave up on repairing his damaged castle caused by the two's fight, and just leave it to Demi-fiend to monitor the Loki everyday to press the damage to a minimal. Heaven knows what will happen if he sent Demi-fiend to monitor Cain instead. He'd be sure that Cain will certainly go ballistic and blasts all till he know for sure he has his privacy once more.

As for the camera bug… It's not like Hell's technology deprived. What do you readers expect? Watching through a mystical glowing orb like the blasphemous fortune-tellers humans believes? Hell no! Even demons need entertainment like the net.

But back to the South quarter that belong to Cain, with his chance to finally gut his self-proclaimed best friend halted, he snarled unkindly to the preventor of his misdeeds.

"Let go of my hand, Demi-fiend!" It was a threathening order, and Loki's snicker only increased in the sight of the usually cool and indifferent Demi-fiend whose face contorted slightly in fear. Only slightly, but enough for the sharp eyes of the trickster. Cain is scary, and he mean really scary when someone he doesn't allow to touch him really touch him. The last time Kudlak who had the same insanity problem as Loki touched and poked Cain in a vain attempt to show Kresnik that he's the most sadistic bastard (yes, in Hell, sadistic, masochist, bastard, fucktard are compliments), Heaven knows what happen to the poor vampire as he was never to be seen anymore in Hell, much to Kresnik's pleasure. At least he managed to prove he's a masochist. No need for that if you're dead, though.

But as always, Loki is a kind senpai, no? Because Loki is such a kind senpai, he just have to rescue his cute kouhai from the cruel penetrating gaze Cain is giving him, right? But Cain is really scary, and Loki began to doubt, does he really need to risk his head to save his cute kouhai? But Demi-fiend DID save him from being gutted at the spot by Cain, so he supposed he will have to do it.

"C-cain…"

Cain's head snapped to his direction and he gave Loki the coldest glare he could muster. Loki sweatdropped.

"I think you're choking Demi-fiend with the sheer amount of aura that practically screams 'Touch me and I will murder you in ways you can't imagine'. So I have to politely request that you let Demi-fiend pass your Holy- *EEPHH!*

His sentence is cut by a blast of pure rage blasting beside his head, merely missing his handsome (well, Loki thinks so) face by some millimeters. Ups! Wrong move! Cain hates everything related to Holy being. He just had some unpleasant memories with their Father, and he still hold the same grudge.

Loki sighed inwardly at how childish Cain can be if anything Holy is mentioned near him. He immediately goes murderous, and the next time Loki meet him, Loki will be met by the plain sight of Cain bloody and tattered and holding several ripped white wings in his hand. So much for the calm trait that describes Cain…

"I mean, UnHoly Wrath!" Loki closed his eyes as he expect another blast heading his way.

But…

1 second…

2 seconds…

3 seconds…

*oh, the Hell?*

10 seconds…

'Hmmm', Loki thought inwardly, 'are my limbs still intact? Or is this Cain's new way of torture? Is Cain waiting for me to open my eyes just for me to found his claws in front my face? Then take a picture of my horror-filled face to blackmail me?'

"Ano… Loki-senpai…" The monotone voice of Demi-fiend broke him out of his reverie, and he opened his eyes in joy of not finding a ready-to-rip-is-eyeballs-out Cain in the line of sight.

He breathed his air of relief not so discreetly. Playing with Cain's temper can be fun, but Loki always know how to avoid his ballistic modes. This time is not really lucky, as Demi-fiend chose to interfere and broke the most taboo of all the tabooes in Cain's dictionary. And that is touching him. He then turned to advice and lecture a naïve Demi-fiend about how dangerous a ballistic Cain can be to be shoved with a piece of paper to his face.

"What the fuck, kouhai? After I just saved your ass, you just have to shove a paper right to my mouth! You ungrateful, uncute, kouhai!"

Demi-fiend is wise enough to stick his fingers in his ear to protect his ears from Loki's scream. Loki-senpai's mouth may not be the most potty, but the desible of his scream can rivaled the so-called opera in the human world. And the worst? It's high-pitched and girly. Absolutely abhorrable.

After waiting for Loki's screaming tirade to stop and wondering if his ears can still take the awful screeching, Loki finally stop and saw the content of the paper. To which senpai's eyes widen, and a maniacal ear-splitting grin broke his face, before another maniacal laugh broke through the castle. Demi-fiend even dare to thank the Heaven that Loki-senpai's laugh is not as bad as his screech, because he didn't know if his ears can take two rounds of Loki Screeching.

He did wonder though, what the contents of the paper are…

Cain-senpai *shudder* just shoved it to his hand with a gaze that said 'give it to the maniacal clown there and don't dare take a peek', then proceeded his way once again to his chamber.

"Geez, Cain! If you're that curious you can just say it to me! Why with the long debt contract?" He heard his senpai's rambling, and suddenly realize his senpai had began to walked the long hallway away from the South quarter. Demi-fiend sighed that he was given this mission to watch over this unstable senpai, and not directly being dragged through Hell's every corner in Loki's quest to search for something more entertaining…

In the midst of his musing though, Demi-fiend did wonder on how Cain-senpai and Loki-senpai can be friends with the other's claws always directed to the other's neck… They seems close though… Guess that friendships between demons are like this, huh?

**OMAKE**

"Hoi! Uncute kouhai! I think I just found the perfect accessory for you!" That shout made him realize that they're in the market now.

Wow! Suddenly they're in the market? What did his senpai used? Teleportation spell? He ran to Loki's side. To which they're standing in front of a stall with a Heqet standing as the seller, looking with it's big watery eyes. Loki extended his hand and the Heqet obediently put something green on it.

He did wonder what the heck that thing is, until that thing is suddenly shoved down his head!

"There! Now you look cuter, uncute kouhai!" was the satisfied voice of his senpai. He blinked to find a frog-hat on top of his head.

"Senpai."

"Hmm?"

"Senpai."

"What? You're starting to irritate me with your 'senpai, senpai'."

"This hat doesn't suit me."

"That hat does suit you!"

"And may I inquire in what aspect it suit me?"

"You're green, and that hat's also green."

"…"

"Satisfied?"

"…"

Loki turned around to pinch and stretch his uncute kouhai's face with a dark smile.

"Sa-tis-fied yet~~~? You un-cute, un-smart, un-grateful, kou-hai~~~?"

"Y-yes."

"Good."

Demi-fiend added to his secret note.

Loki-senpai :

Is scary

Is unreasonable

Is a sadist

An possibly a pedo


End file.
